Making Good Decisions
Mistakes made during the divorce process can set you up for a lifetime of stress and regret. Advice from a good lawyer can make your life easier – both during and after your divorce.
My focus is on giving my clients practical advice to help them make the best choices for their future.
Divorce is about negotiation, which means you have to choose how and when to compromise. If both sides are able to compromise and agree on all of the issues involved, then there is no need to take a case to court and pay significant attorney's fees. Settling out of court can save you lots of money. It also allows you to have more control over the outcome of the case.
When you work with a lawyer, you're the one who makes the decisions. Your lawyer is only there to help you make those decisions, and to advise you on the law. That's why it's important for you to focus on what really matters, and select the battles that are worth fighting. For example, it just isn't worth it to pay a lawyer to fight over who gets to keep the blender.
Here are a few tips that can help you make better choices, so you can get the most out of your divorce and the rest of your life:
- Stay calm - It's hard to make good decisions when you're angry, nervous, or distracted. If your mind is scattered in a thousand different places, try taking a few deep breaths first. If you let anger lead you into a bad decision, that's when you've allowed the other side to get the best of you. A good decision is one that you'll be glad you made when you look back, it's not necessarily the decision you feel like making in the heat of the moment.
- Know your goals and your resources - Make sure you understand what you are trying to achieve and what your priorities are.
- Look at each option carefully - In most cases, there are several different ways to compromise, even if your first choice doesn't work out.
- Think about your future – not about what happened in the past. When you're going through a divorce, it's too easy to get caught up in fighting for the sake of fighting, even when it costs more than what you stand to gain by winning. Don't forget that you have a future, and you need to make the decision that's best for yourself. Remember, the rest of your life matters more than today, and you deserve to be happy after your divorce. Success is better than revenge.